Hawk's Way Read online

  The homemade quilt barely reached from one end to the other of the tall Ranger. Jesse’s face was gentle in repose. There was no hint of the fierceness in battle she had seen, no hint of the savage passion she had experienced. He was only a man. There must be another—not a Ranger—who would suit her as well.

  She leaned down slowly, carefully, and touched her lips to his. A goodbye kiss. She walked dry-eyed up the stairs to her bedroom. It looked so empty. It felt so forlorn. She lay down on the bed and stared at the canopy overhead. It was a long time before she finally found respite in sleep.

  The sun woke Honey the next morning. It was brighter than bright, a golden Texas morning. Honey stretched and groaned at how stiff she felt. Then she froze. Where was Jesse now? Was he still downstairs sleeping? Had he packed and left? Was he dressed and waiting to confront her?

  Honey scrambled off the bed and ran across the hall to the bathroom. She took one look at herself and groaned. Her face looked as if she’d slept in it. She started the water running in the tub as hot as she could get it and stripped off her clothes. There was barely an inch of liquid in the claw-footed tub by the time she stepped into it. She sank down, hissing as the water scalded her, then grabbed a cloth and began soaping herself clean.

  It never occurred to her to lock the bathroom door. No one ever bothered her when she was in the bathroom. Her eyes widened in surprise when the door opened and Jesse sauntered in. He was shirtless, wearing a pair of jeans that threatened to fall off, revealing his navel and the beginning of his hipbones.

  She held the washcloth in front of her, which didn’t do much good, not to mention how silly it looked. “What are you doing in here?” she demanded indignantly.

  “I thought I’d shave,” Jesse said. “We might as well get used to having to share the bathroom in the morning.” He turned and grinned. “That is, unless I can talk you into adding a second bathroom. One with a shower?”

  “What’s going on, Jesse?”

  He soaped up his shaving brush and began applying the resulting foam to his beard. “I’m shaving,” he answered. “Looks like you’re taking a bath.” He grinned.

  Honey tried ignoring him. She turned her back on him and continued washing herself. She was feeling both angry and confused. He has no right to be doing this! Why doesn’t he just go? If Jesse had changed his mind about leaving the Rangers he would have told her so last night. This was just another ploy to get his own way. She wasn’t going to let him get away with it.

  Honey covered herself with the washcloth as best she could while she reached for a towel. Just as she caught it with her fingertips, Jesse slipped it off the rack and settled it around his neck.

  “I need that towel,” she said through gritted teeth.

  “I’ll be done with it in a minute,” he said. “I need to wipe off the excess shaving cream.”

  Honey was tempted to stand up and stroll past him naked, but she didn’t have the nerve. What if Jack was out there? Jack!

  “Where’s Jack?” she asked.

  “Sent him out to round up those steers we vaccinated and move them to another pasture.”

  “And he went?”

  “Don’t look so surprised. Jack’s a hard worker.”

  Honey’s brows rose. “I know that. I didn’t think you did.”

  “Jack and I have an understanding,” Jesse said.

  “Oh?”

  “I told him this morning that I was going to marry you and—”

  “You what!” Honey rose from the water like Poseidon in a tempest. Water sluiced down her body, creating jeweled trails over breasts and belly.

  Jesse didn’t know when he had ever seen her looking more beautiful. Or more angry.

  “Now, Honey—”

  “Don’t you ‘Now, Honey’ me, you rogue. How could you tell my son such a thing? How could you get his hopes up when you know I’m not going to marry you!”

  “But you are,” Jesse said.

  Honey was shivering from cold and trembling with emotion. Jesse took the towel from around his neck and offered it to her. She yanked it out of his hand and wrapped it around herself.

  “I’d like to play the gallant and carry you off to the bedroom to make my point, but—” He gestured to the wounded leg and shrugged. “Can’t do it.”

  Honey made a growling sound low in her throat as she marched past Jesse to the bedroom. Actually she had to stop marching long enough to squeeze past him in the doorway, and she had to fight him for the tail end of the towel as she slid by.

  “Just have one more little spot I need to wipe,” he said, dabbing at his face.

  “Let go!” she snapped. She yanked, he pulled, and the ancient terry cloth tore down the middle. “Now look what you’ve done!”

  Tears sprang to Honey’s eyes. “You’re ruining everything!”

  “It’s just a towel, Honey,” Jesse said, misunderstanding her tears. He tried to follow her into the bedroom, but she shut the door in his face. And locked it.

  “Hey, unlock the door.”

  “Go away, Jesse.”

  “I thought we were going to talk.”

  “Go away, Jesse.”

  “I’m not going to leave, Honey. You might as well open the door.”

  “Go away, Jesse.”

  Jesse put a shoulder against the door, just to see how sturdy it was, and concluded that at least the house was well built. His bad leg wouldn’t support him if he tried kicking it in. Which was just as well. Honey wasn’t likely to be too impressed with that sort of melodrama.

  “I’m leaving, Honey,” he said.

  No answer.

  “I said I’m leaving.”

  Still no answer.

  “Aren’t you going to say goodbye?”

  “Goodbye, Jesse,” she sobbed.

  “Jeez, Honey. This is stupid. Open the door so we can talk.”

  She sobbed again.

  Jesse’s throat constricted. She really sounded upset. Maybe this wasn’t the best time to talk to her after all. He had some chores he could do that would keep him busy for a while. Surely she couldn’t stay in there all day. He’d catch her when she came down for some coffee later.

  Honey heard Jesse’s halting step as he limped his way down the stairs. So, he was leaving after all. Honey got into bed and pulled the covers over her head. She didn’t want to think about anything. She just wanted to wallow in misery. She should have taken the part of him she could get, the part left over after he’d done his duty to the Rangers. It would have been better than nothing, certainly better than the void he would leave when he was gone.

  Then she thought of all the time she would have to spend alone, with no shoulder to share the burden, no lover’s ear to hear how the day had gone and offer solace, and her backbone stiffened. She deserved more from a relationship than half measures. She had to accept the fact that Jesse had made his choice.

  * * *

  Honey didn’t notice the sun creeping across the sky. She had no knowledge of the fading light at dusk. She never even noticed the sun setting to leave the world in darkness. Her whole life was dark. It couldn’t get any blacker.

  Meanwhile, Jesse had spent the day waiting patiently for Honey to come to her senses. At noon, he prepared some tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches, planning to surprise her with his culinary expertise. He ended up sharing his bounty with Jack, who ate all the sandwiches and dumped the soup with the comment, “Mom makes it better.”

  When Jesse had explained to Jack that he needed some time alone with Honey, Jack was more than willing to go spend the night with friends again. In fact, Jesse was embarrassed by the lurid grin on the teenager’s face when he agreed not to come home too early the next morning.

  “Does this mean Mom has agreed to marry you?” Jack asked.

  “I haven’t quite talked her into it yet,” Jesse said.

  “But you will.”

  “I’m sure going to try,” Jesse said grimly.

  “Don’t worry,” Jac
k said, slapping Jesse on the shoulder. “I think Mom loves you.”

  But as Jesse was discovering, the fact that Honey loved him might not be enough to induce her to marry him. Jack left late in the afternoon. Jesse tiptoed up the stairs and listened by Honey’s bedroom door, but there was no sound coming from inside. He decided he was just going to have to outwait her.

  It was nearly ten o’clock that evening before he finally decided she wasn’t coming out anytime soon. He knocked hard on her bedroom door. “All right, Honey. Enough’s enough. Come on out of there so we can talk.”

  He heard the sound of rustling sheets and then a muffled “Jesse?”

  A moment later the door opened. Her hair looked as sleep-tousled as it had the first morning he had come to the Flying Diamond. Her blue eyes were unfocused, confused. She tightened the belt on the man’s terry cloth robe she was wearing, then clutched at the top to hold it closed.

  “Jesse?” she repeated. “Is that you?”

  “Of course it’s me. Who did you think it was?”

  “I thought you left,” she said.

  “Why the hell would I do that?” Jesse felt angry and irritable. While he’d been cooling his heels downstairs all day, she’d been up here sleeping! “If you’re through napping, maybe we could have that talk I mentioned earlier.”

  “You want to talk?” Honey was still half-asleep.

  “Yes, by God, I want to talk! And you’re going to listen, do you hear me?” Jesse grabbed hold of her shoulders and shook her for good measure.

  The moment Jesse touched her, Honey came instantly awake. This was no dream. This was no figment of her imagination. A furious Jesse Whitelaw was really shaking the daylights out of her.

  “All right, Jesse,” she said, putting her hands on his arms to calm him. “I’m ready to listen.”

  At that moment there was a knock on the kitchen door and a familiar voice called up the stairs, “Honey? Are you home?”

  Good old reliable Adam.

  Honey ran past Jesse as though he wasn’t even there, scrambled down the stairs and met Adam at the door to the kitchen.

  He looked tired and frazzled. Honey avoided meeting his eyes, because they still held too much pain.

  “I just wanted to let you know that I found some of your stolen cattle on my property,” he said. “I’ll have some of my cowhands drive them over here tomorrow.”

  Adam’s eyes flickered to a spot behind Honey. “It seems I misjudged you, Whitelaw,” Adam said. “I had no idea Chuck Loomis was using my ranch as a base for a statewide rustling operation. I owe you an apology and my thanks.” He stuck his hand out to Jesse, who slid a possessive hand around Honey’s waist before he reached out to shake it.

  Honey felt the tension between the two men. They would never be close friends, but at least they wouldn’t be enemies, either.

  “I’ll be going now,” Adam said.

  “Are you sure you’re all right?” Honey asked.

  “My business affairs are in a shambles and I need a new ranch manager, but otherwise I’m fine,” Adam said with a self-deprecating smile.

  “I’ll let you out,” Honey said. But when she tried to leave Jesse’s side, he tightened his grasp.

  Adam saw what was going on and said, “I can see myself out. Goodbye, Honey.”

  Honey saw from the look on Adam’s face that he wouldn’t be coming back anytime soon. She felt his sadness, his loneliness. Somewhere out there was a woman who could bring the sparkle back into Adam’s life. All Honey had to do was keep her eyes open and help Adam find that special someone.

  When the kitchen door closed behind Adam, Jesse took Honey’s hand in his and ordered, “Come with me.”

  He limped his way back up the stairs, down the hall and into her room. Once inside, he turned and locked the door behind them. “I’ve got something important to say to you, Honey, and it can’t wait another minute.”

  Honey could see Jesse was agitated. While he talked, she led him over to the bed and sat him down. She kneeled to pull off his boots, then lifted his feet up onto the rumpled sheets.

  “Are you more comfortable?” she asked.

  “Yes. Don’t change the subject.”

  “What is the subject?” Honey asked, climbing into the other side of the bed.

  “You’re going to marry me, Honey. No ifs, ands, or buts.”

  “I know,” she said.

  “No more arguments, no more—What did you say?”

  “I said I’ll marry you, Jesse.”

  “But—”

  “I shouldn’t have tried blackmailing you into quitting your job. I know how much being a Ranger means to you. It isn’t fair to ask you to give that up.” She smiled. “I’ll manage.”

  Jesse couldn’t have loved Honey more than he did in that instant. How brave she was! What strength she possessed! And how she must love him to be willing to make such a concession herself rather than force him to do it. What she couldn’t know, what he hadn’t realized himself until very recently, was that it was a sacrifice he was willing to make. He loved being a Ranger; he loved Honey more.

  Jesse wanted the life she had offered him, a life working side by side with the woman he loved. Raising kids. Running the ranch. Loving Honey.

  Jesse swallowed over the lump in his throat. It was hard to speak but he managed, “I love you, Honey.” He gently touched her lips with his, revering her, honoring her.

  She moved eagerly into his arms, but he held her away.

  “There’s something I have to tell you,” he said.

  He saw the anxiety flicker in her eyes and spoke quickly to quell it. “Before I came back here this morning, I resigned from the Texas Rangers.”

  Honey gasped. “You did? Really?”

  “I did. Really.”

  Honey didn’t know what she had done to be rewarded with her heart’s desire, but she saw only rainbows on the horizon. Here was a man she could lean on in times of trouble, a man with whom she could share her life, the happiness and sorrow, the good times and the bad.

  “I can’t believe that this is really happening,” Honey said. “Are you sure, Jesse?”

  “Sure of what?”

  “That you won’t be sorry later. That you won’t have regrets. That you won’t change your mind and—”

  “I won’t change my mind. I won’t have regrets or be sorry. Being a Ranger made it easy to avoid looking at my life as it really is. I’ve been drifting for years looking for something, Honey. I just didn’t know what it was. I’ve found it here with you and Jack and Jonathan.”

  “What’s that?”

  “A place where I can put down roots. A place where my grandchildren can see the fruits of my labor. A home.”

  Honey didn’t know what to say. She felt full. And happy. And by some act of providence she and the man she loved just happened to be in bed together.

  “Where’s Jack?” she asked.

  Jesse grinned. “He’s spending the night with a friend.”

  Honey arched a brow provocatively. “Then we have the whole house to ourselves?”

  “Yes, ma’am. We sure do.”

  “Then I suggest we make use of it.”

  Jesse arched a questioning brow. “The whole house?”

  “Well, we can start in the bedroom. But the desk in the den is nice. There’s the kitchen table. And the tub has definite possibilities.” Honey laughed at the incredulous look on Jesse’s face.

  “You’ll kill me,” he muttered.

  “Yeah, but what a way to go,” Honey said.

  Hours later, Jesse was leaning back in a tubful of steaming water, his nape comfortably settled on the edge of the claw-footed tub. Honey was curled against his chest, her body settled on his lap.

  “I didn’t think it could be done,” he murmured.

  “You’re a man of many talents, Mr. Whitelaw.”

  He grinned lazily. “May I return the compliment?”

  “Of course.” Honey leaned over to lap a drop of wate
r from Jesse’s nipple. She felt him stiffen, and gently teased him until his flesh was taut with desire.

  Jesse groaned, an animal sound that forced its way past his throat. “Honey,” he warned, “you’re playing with fire.”

  She laughed, a sexy sound, and said, “There’s plenty of water here if I wanted to put it out…which I don’t.”

  A moment later he had turned her to face him, her legs straddling his thighs. He grasped her hips and slowly pulled her down, impaling her.

  Honey gasped.

  He held her still, trying to gain control of his desire, wanting the pleasure to last. She arched herself against him, forcing him deeper inside the cocoon of wetness and warmth.

  “You feel so good, Honey. So damn good.”

  “May I return the compliment?” she said in a breathless voice. She grasped his shoulders to steady herself as she rocked back and forth, seeking to pleasure him and finding the pleasure given returned tenfold.

  Jesse reached out to cup her breasts, to tease the nipples into peaks, to nip and lick and kiss her breasts until Honey was writhing in pleasure. He found the place where their bodies met and teased her until she ached with need. Their mouths joined as his body spilled its seed into hers.

  Breathless, Honey sought the solace of his embrace. He held her close as the water lapped in waves against the edge of the tub.

  “I can’t believe it,” she said as he pulled her close and tucked her head beneath his chin. “Oh, the things we can do to improve the ranch! I have so many plans, so many ideas!”

  Jesse chuckled. “Whoa, there, woman. One thing at a time.”

  She looked up at him and grinned. “What shall we do first?”

  “First I think we ought to do some planting.”

  “What are we going to grow?”

  “Some hay. Some vegetables. Some babies.”

  Honey laughed with delight. “Let’s start with the babies.”

  Jesse fell in love all over again. It was amazing how sheer happiness made Honey glow with beauty. His heart felt full. His chest was so tight with feelings it hurt to breathe. He didn’t have to drift any longer. He had found his home. Where he would spend each night with his woman. Where he would plant seeds—of many kinds—and watch them grow.

  * * * * *