Carter Read online

  Desiree saw Carter’s hesitation. He slowly unwrapped the gift.

  Before he had the paper half off Nicole blurted, “It’s a book. So you can read stories to me at bedtime.”

  Carter finished upwrapping the present and fingered the embossed illustration on the cover. “It’s a wonderful gift, Nicky.”

  “My name isn’t Nicky. It’s Nicole.”

  “Would you mind if I shortened it, sort of like a special nickname?” Carter asked.

  Nicole wrinkled her nose, then eyed Carter sideways. “Will that make me your little girl for real and always?”

  A sudden thickness appeared in Desiree’s throat. Tears blurred her eyes and made her nose burn. She waited to hear what Carter would answer.

  “It makes you mine, Nicky. Now and always.”

  “All right,” Nicole said. “You can call me Nicky.” She turned to her mother. “Daddy’s going to call me Nicky. You can call me Nicky, too.”

  “All right, Nico—Nicky. If that’s what you want.” Desiree fought back the sudden spurt of jealousy she felt. She had wanted Nicole to have a father, but she hadn’t realized at the time what that would mean. She no longer had her daughter all to herself.

  Nicole was looking at Carter with what could only be described as worship. It remained to be seen how long her daughter’s adoration would last.

  Desiree stood and reached over to grasp Nicole’s hands and pull her to her feet. “Now that all the presents are opened, I’d like some time to talk to Carter alone. Why don’t you take a few of your things upstairs and play for a while?”

  “All right, Mommy. Will you come read to me later, Daddy?”

  “Sure, Nicky.”

  When the little girl was gone, Desiree paced away from Carter to stare out the window at the snow, which was now blowing sideways. “Where did you go?”

  She was startled when his voice came from right behind her.

  “Five miles down the road. It took me that long to realize it was foolish to run away from what I’ve been searching for all my life.”

  Desiree whirled to face him. She probed his blue eyes, looking for some kind of proof that she and Nicole were that important to him. “I know it must have been hard to have Nicole call you Daddy.”

  He nodded.

  “Thank you for giving her the chance to have a father.”

  “I want us to be a family,” Carter said in a fierce voice. “I want us to be happy together. I want to forget the past.”

  But it was clear from the agitation in his voice that though he might choose not to remember the past, he hadn’t forgotten it. Not by a long shot.

  Desiree knew she ought to take advantage of this moment to tell him the secret she had been keeping from him. But she didn’t want to spoil the moment. He was offering to start over with her. She so much wanted this marriage to work!

  “I want what you want, Carter,” she admitted.

  But her arms remained folded defensively across her chest.

  He reached for her wrists and pulled her arms around his waist. He circled her shoulders so she found herself captured in his strong embrace. She waited for the fear to rise. It was marvelously absent. But she wasn’t entirely comfortable, either. There was a tension, an expectation, an awareness that arced between them. She waited for Carter to act on it, to make a sexual overture.

  Instead he stepped back from her and took her hands in his. She looked up at him and found his lips curled into a smile, his blue eyes twinkling with amusement.

  “So you can see right through that nightgown. I can hardly wait!”

  Desiree yanked her hands from his and perched them on her hips. “How could you give me a gift like that and not warn me about it? I was never so embarrassed in my life as when Nicole started asking me questions about it.”

  “What did you tell her, I wonder?” Carter said as his smile broadened to a grin.

  Desiree felt the heat in her face. “That it was meant to be worn with a robe,” she snapped.

  Carter laughed, a sound that came up from his belly and rumbled past his chest. “When am I going to get to see it?”

  “In your dreams, Prescott,” she said. “In your dreams!”

  “I’m sure they’ll be sweet ones,” he called to her retreating back.

  CHAPTER SIX

  “DO YOU WANT to go?” Carter asked.

  “I’m not sure we can,” Desiree replied across the breakfast table. “I don’t know whether I can get a baby-sitter on such short notice. Especially when tonight is New Year’s Eve.”

  Desiree knew she was being contrary, but she couldn’t help it. Ever since Carter had walked out on Christmas morning, she had worried that he would do it again. Even though he had returned, the trust she had been willing to give him without question when they married was qualified now. Her anxiety wasn’t unjustified.

  Carter hadn’t disappeared without a word over the past week, but he had begun making forays around the ranch by himself, getting the lay of the land and looking the place over. He hadn’t reissued the invitation he had made the day they were married to survey the ranch together.

  Desiree suspected he needed the time alone to come to terms with his new responsibilities as husband and father—although they were more father than husband so far. To her chagrin, Desiree realized she very much wanted to make the effort to become Carter’s wife in every sense of the word. Only she wasn’t sure how to let him know.

  Attending a New Year’s Eve party at Faron and Belinda Whitelaw’s home would be their first outing as husband and wife. The truth was, she wanted to go. But she was worried about leaving Nicole home alone with a baby-sitter. Burley was due to be released from prison today. There was no reason to believe he would head straight for Casper—except the threats he had made six years ago.

  I’m coming back, Desiree. Then I’ll finish what I started.

  Desiree felt cold all over. She hadn’t forgotten the last night she had spent with Burley in this house. It was something she had been trying to forget. Maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea to be gone from here tonight. But she wanted Nicole where she could keep an eye on her.

  “I suppose we could take Nicole with us,” Desiree mused. “She could sleep upstairs at The Castle. I’ve done that in the past when I couldn’t find a sitter.”

  “Great!” Carter said.

  “Why are you so anxious to go to this party?” Desiree asked.

  “I thought it was about time we did some socializing with our neighbors. Besides, it’s a wedding celebration for my half brother, Faron. He and Belinda were married at home on Christmas, with just their families present.”

  “You’re family. Why weren’t you invited to the wedding?”

  He shrugged. “I was, but I decided not to go.”

  “Were you worried that they might be upset at how quickly you married me?”

  “Not at all. It’s just that Faron and I may be related, but really, we don’t know each other.”

  Desiree’s lips curled into a wry smile. “The same thing could be said about us.”

  “Yeah, but I’m planning to spend the rest of my life with you.”

  Desiree hoped so. But she had her doubts about what Carter would do when he knew the truth about why she had married him.

  When she had ruthlessly sought out a man to marry, she had done so because when Burley got out of prison and came hunting her she wanted her ex-husband to see that she had committed herself to someone else, that there was no sense in his pursuing her any longer. Now she admitted to herself that she had expected to get something else out of the bargain: actual physical protection if Burley got violent.

  Desiree could see how her fear and desperation had led her to expect unrealistic things from marriage to Carter. Instead of being put off by the presence of another man, Burley was just as likely to become insanely jealous. It had happened before. And she knew that instead of being around to protect her, Carter might very well be off on one of his lonely jaunts around the ranch
.

  Which meant she had to be ready to protect herself and her daughter. She couldn’t get a protective order to keep Burley away from her until he had actually done something that constituted a crime under the law. She would have to wait for Burley to make the first move. And hope she was still alive to apply to the court for succor.

  There was another option.

  She could confess the whole situation to Carter and ask for his help in confronting Burley when he showed up. She felt certain Carter would offer his assistance if he knew the situation she was in. But she had her own reasons for wanting to keep her secret as long as she could.

  Ever since Christmas Eve, when she had stood in Carter’s arms kissing him, the belief had been growing that maybe she wasn’t as frigid as Burley had always accused her of being. She had thought and thought about her reaction to Carter’s kisses, about her feelings when kissing him, and she had come to the conclusion that however much a failure she had been with Burley in bed, the same thing wouldn’t happen with Carter.

  Desiree wasn’t sure what made the difference with Carter. She didn’t think it was a simple matter of her feelings toward the two men. After all, she had been head over heels in love with Burley and sex with him had been a disaster. She wasn’t sure exactly what she felt for Carter, but she knew it couldn’t be love. Respect, maybe, and liking, but no more than that. After all, they were still virtual strangers.

  Once the idea of making love to Carter caught hold, however, she couldn’t let it go. She fantasized about what it would be like to touch him, to have him touch her, for the two of them to be joined as one. Since she couldn’t be sure what Carter’s reaction would be when he found out the truth about why she had married him, she had to act soon or perhaps lose the chance of knowing what it meant to make love to a man.

  Maybe it wasn’t fair to use Carter like that, but Desiree had gotten the distinct impression that he wouldn’t find making love to her a hardship. They would both benefit, and she couldn’t see the harm to either of them in her plan.

  Only…time was running out. If she was going to seduce Carter, there could be no better opportunity than after the party tonight. It would be the beginning of a new year, a nostalgic time, to say the least. She would make sure Carter had a drink or two to relax him and would stay very close when they danced. And she would wear the silky black negligee he had given her for Christmas. Further than that, her thoughts would not go.

  “So we’re agreed?” Carter said. “We’ll go to the party?”

  Desiree nodded. “I’ll call Belinda so she can arrange a guest bedroom for Nicole.”

  Desiree wasn’t sure what to expect from her friends and neighbors at the Whitelaws’ New Year’s Eve party, but she was pleased by how cordially they greeted Carter when she introduced him as her husband.

  Carter’s grandmother, Madelyn, made a special point of introducing one young woman to Carter. “This is Belinda’s sister, Fiona Conner,” she said. “I’m disappointed you two didn’t get a chance to meet sooner.”

  Unspoken were the words Before you married Desiree.

  Desiree felt an unwelcome stab of jealousy as the petite blonde gave Carter an assessing look. She immediately forgave Fiona when the young woman grinned at her and said, “Maddy tells me she had Carter all picked out for me, so I’m glad you two found each other. You’ve saved me from Maddy’s matchmaking.”

  “It was my pleasure,” Desiree said, linking her arm possessively through Carter’s. She was aware of how lovely the young woman was. There was no scar to mar her beautiful face.

  Carter put his hand over hers where it rested on his arm. “I’m happy with the choice I made,” he told his grandmother. “Although I can’t say that if things had turned out differently, I wouldn’t have enjoyed getting a chance to know you,” he gallantly said to Fiona.

  “It wouldn’t have worked out between you and Fiona, anyway,” Madelyn said with a sigh.

  “Why not?” Desiree asked, her curiosity piqued.

  “Fiona has a cat.”

  Desiree exchanged a look with Carter, and they burst out laughing.

  “If you ladies will excuse us, I’d like to dance with my wife,” Carter said. “I’m not bad at matchmaking myself,” he said with a wink at Madelyn.

  Desiree was flustered but pleased by Carter’s obvious preference for her company. She was delighted to be dancing with him because it fit into her plans of seduction so well.

  A half hour later, Desiree wondered who was seducing whom. She had started by letting her fingers thread into the curls at Carter’s nape and gotten all the response she could have hoped for when he drew her closer into his arms. He had let his hand drift down past her waist to the dimpled area above her buttocks and slipped his leg between hers, so she could feel his arousal. It was enough to make her weak in the knees.

  His cheek was pressed close to hers—the unblemished one, of course—and his teeth nibbled on her earlobe.

  “I’ve had a wonderful time meeting all your neighbors,” he said as he backed away to look at her.

  “They like you,” she replied.

  Desiree was warmed by the desire in Carter’s eyes—even though his gaze avoided her scar. She could forgive him that. It wasn’t easy to face herself in the mirror each morning, so she knew what it must be like for him. At least there was no obvious distaste apparent on his face when he looked at her.

  She mentally pledged to be a good wife to Carter, to trust him and—after the night was through—to reveal the secret she had kept from him.

  “Listen up, everybody!” Faron said. When those gathered for the party were quiet, he said, “It’s time to count down the last seconds to the new year. Ten. Nine. Eight.”

  “Seven. Six. Five,” everyone chanted.

  Desiree looked into Carter’s eyes as she counted with him, “Four. Three. Two.”

  “One,” Carter said. “Happy New Year, Desiree.”

  “Happy New Year, Carter.”

  “I think this is where we’re supposed to kiss,” he said as he looked around the room at the couples caught up in the celebration of the moment.

  “I guess it is. Shall we join them?”

  Apparently her invitation was the only thing holding Carter back, because he tightened his arms around her and sought out her lips with his. She felt the pressure of his mouth against hers and realized it wasn’t enough. Her tongue slipped out and teased the seam of his lips. She felt his smile as he opened his mouth to her. Then she was opening her mouth to him, and the thrust and parry that followed was as erotic a dance as anything Salome might have managed with all her seven veils.

  When they broke the kiss at last, they stared, stunned, into each other’s eyes.

  He was panting.

  So was she.

  “Let’s go home,” Carter said. “I’d like to start the new year together—with you in my bed.”

  Desiree blushed at his forthrightness. But his wishes were very much in accord with her own. “I’ll go upstairs and get Nicole.”

  He put out a hand to stop her. “I asked Maddy if she would keep Nicky overnight. She told me Nicky had stayed with her before, and that she’d be glad to have her.”

  “But—”

  “I told her I’d have to check with you first to make sure it was all right.”

  Desiree debated only a second before she said, “Tell Maddy I’m thankful for the offer. I’d like to check on Nicole before we go.”

  “I’ll wait down here for you,” Carter said.

  During the ride home, Desiree chattered like Nicole, talking about how much fun the party had been and how she hoped they could invite some of their neighbors over for supper soon. Carter was silent except for a grunt of assent every so often to let her know he was listening.

  Deep down, Desiree harbored the fear that Burley might somehow have already made his way to the Rimrock. So it was with a tremendous sense of relief that she observed when they entered the house that everything appeared untouche
d. She toed off her fur-lined boots and left them in the pantry along with her coat. Then she stepped into the terry-cloth slippers she had left there when she put on her boots. Carter followed suit, leaving his boots and shearling coat beside hers and heading upstairs in his stocking feet.

  “Everything looks exactly as we left it,” she said as they passed through the kitchen and into the hall.

  Carter gave her a look askance. “You were expecting Santa’s elves to come through and change things around?”

  Desiree laughed nervously. “Of course not. I just…Never mind.”

  Carter grasped her hand and started upstairs with her. “Let’s go to bed.”

  There was a wealth of meaning in those words. He stopped upstairs outside her closed bedroom door. “Your room or mine?”

  “Yours,” Desiree said. Her bedroom held too many awful memories.

  Once she arrived at Carter’s door she stopped. Even though she had made up her mind to make love to him, she couldn’t help feeling afraid.

  It was a sign of how attuned Carter was to her in just the little time they had been married that he asked, “Are you sure you want to go through with this?”

  “Yes,” Desiree said. But the word came out as a hoarse croak. She stared into Carter’s eyes, warmed by the glow of desire burning there. In the next instant, he had swept her off her feet and into his arms. She laughed nervously.

  “You’re safe with me, Desiree,” he said as he stepped through the doorway and into his bedroom.

  Desiree couldn’t have asked for more than that.

  Carter had left the lamp burning beside the bed, and it cast the room in shadows. He had already shoved the door closed behind them with his foot, when she realized she had forgotten something. “I wanted to wear my new negligee for you.”

  Carter grinned. “I’m not saying I don’t want to see you in it sometime, but I think it would be wasted tonight.”

  Desiree stood uncomfortably by the door where he had set her down, as he left her and crossed to the bed to pull down the quilt and sheet. Then he crossed back to stand before her.